Christmas time

Christmas is an odd time of year for me. I love it, I really do. I love making up the Christmas tree and having all the presents under it. I love the formality of our Christmas at home with the champagne at around 11am with the opening of the presents and the fire blazing in the living room. I love being told to be careful with the good china because it's older than I am. I love eating so much I can't move. I love setting fire to brandy to pour over the Christmas pudding. I love Christmas cake and smoked salmon and cucumber on cream crackers (Jacobs of course) for supper. I love the feel that it's freezing outside but I'm nice and warm and wrapped up inside. I love having my family around me. This means that the last 4 Christmases have been really quite hard for me. It's very hard to do really Christmassey things when it's 32 degrees outside. This Christmas we had a bbq outside and spent most of the day in the pool at my parents-in-law's house. We'd just moved house in early December and it took a little while to get organised, added to the fact that my husband is not big on the whole Christmas thing, so there was no tree, no decorations. We had cards up all over the place but that was about it. It's just not right here. Not right at all. Graham, bless his heart, understands how difficult I find this sometimes and at around 7pm on Christmas day looked at me as I said goodbye on the phone having been passed round my entire family for a quick chat (even to my 3yr old nephew who was very excited about his playmobile lighthouse) and wordlessly held his arms out as I collapsed sobbing into a very loving, comforting and understanding hug. Next year, I want to go home.