Uh-oh

I think I've done it again. After narrowly avoiding an argument on MSN this morning with TAB regarding whether he misses me or not, I composed a long email telling him everything I feel. I will not be surprised if he runs away screaming after that. But I in it promised that I would keep to an earlier promise and I'm not contacting him again. If he wants to talk to me then he has to do it. He knows how I feel. I'm letting him go. He said, not that long ago, that he doesn't believe that I'm coming back. He thinks I mean to but thinks the situation will change and that if he meets someone else then he meets someone else, slim as the chances of that are. I told him fair enough, but if he thinks there is a possibility of meeting someone else (the name of a certain girl who has been hanging round him constantly since I left is remaining unmentioned...) then what does he really think of me? I'm not going to be gone for that long, in the grand scheme of things. I promised that I would prove him wrong, that I would turn up on his doorstep and I still intend to, but only if he isn't with anyone else, I don't think I could cope if that happened. Aargh! How do I manage to get myself into these sorts of situations? At least it's all going to make money when they release the soap opera version of my life...