Sorrow

I think I lost something tonight. Something that I hope is not lost forever. It may be that it was lost the moment I came home but that the absense had not been noted until now and in the noticing has grown to huge proportions*. A family friend of long standing, from whom I would expect on greeting after an absense, be it of one day or one year, a hug and a kiss on the cheek and an equiry about how I was doing to say the least. These were noticibly lacking. I didn't even feel acknowledged until I had been in the company of said person for over 2 hours when the subject of my emigration entered the conversation. Whilst avoiding my eyes he said 'I'm know why you're going and I'm glad for you but I have no wish to go to Australia'. That in itself is fair enough and I understand that. Not everyone wants to go to the other side of the world and, if I had not got a wonderful fiance over there for whom I would do anything, I probably would not be going back either. Should I choose it, there is a life for me here - a wonderful life. But there is where my love is and there is where I shall go, happily. I may be over-reacting, I may be reading into things that aren't there but I know what I felt and I felt excluded. Tonight I felt I was an outsider looking in, a stranger to this most familar group of people where once I had been a part of it and all because I seem to have lost the good opinion of one who means a lot to me. *I know what I mean