Confused

It's a lovely and warm (if just a teeny bit windy) day here in Melbourne. Its on days like this when I'm completely torn. I have to leave on Monday to go fruit picking. It's a bit ironic really, in order to stay here, I have to leave. Ah well! The problem lies in that I was wondering along today in my own little world as I am wont to do when I realised that I DO want to move on, the same urge that struck me years ago when I first started looking at travelling suddenly hit me. I WANT to go and see new places, I want to visit Cairns, I want to see Bali and Singapore. It's going to be difficult leaving my friends behind, especially those I've made at Nagambie but it's do-able. What I REALLY don't want to do is leave TAB behind. Life would be perfect if he could come too. I know that I've settled here quite a bit (am even turning into a bit of a domestic goddess, the laundry is on whilst I'm typing this and I've tidied the flat a couple of times this week as well) and part of me would be very happy to see this continue, to settle down, etc but the rest of me is dragging me off my feet and telling me to get out there and see the world before doing so. All of me is in agreement however that whatever I do, I would quite like TAB to do it with me. This unfortunately, is not going to happen. He can't leave his job, and to be perfectly honest, I'm not sure he wants to see the world (apart from 14,000ft and falling that is) and that's his choice. I can't ask him to come with me and I'm not going to ask him to wait for me either. He's been let down before and although I'm going to do my damndest to come back, things may change, things that I can't foresee which will throw everything into disarray. So, come Monday, I'm going to be excited and looking ahead as I get on the plane but a very large part of me will be looking back over my shoulder desperate to stay.